feeling so complicated

I miss you, dad!
Our last picture.

1.  It's tearing up my heart when i couldn't see any unity around me..everyone has their own clique.. I was ignored when they don't need me..I was called up when they need a driver or help.I was stupid enough to help. because i know I'm helping my friends.Now, who are my friends when i need someone to talk to? when i need comfort?i do not want to hear anything from you but what i need just a listener. Listen and understand..I do not want any sympathy..
2. Relationship it's really hard for me to understand. Used to have a very close relationship with mum and now i do not know what happened. No matter what i did i just got scolding. i dun mind getting scolding. Will you like to go back home to see someone with black face whenever u are back? This relationship is so hard. My heart bleeds more now. 
3. I know i shouldn't say this but i really miss dad so badly..Everytime when i see someones' dad hold or hug their daughter it makes me think of dad..I wish i could talk to dad too.. and give me advices..
4. Really wanna thanks Electra and Joe yie..No matter how many times i turn down the invitation, they did not blame or say anything. But it was so surprised that they will still care and concern for me when i feel so hopeless,tired and sad. Really love their company.
5. Recently i was really really lazy to do anything..and i do not feel like doing anything too..that makes my group members despise me even more. i was so tired to continue .............
6. Baptism // getting water baptise : for being the only christian in the family. This is really hard God. I am still not bold enough to do anything for you. Father in heaven , I'm really really sorry.

She's sayin : hey! You are my bestfriend now.

oh..wow! I do not know wht to respond but a smile. It was very awkward you know..because u have confessed that you never trust a friend..hmm..


Recently many things on my mind..

Problem coming after a problem solved..so difficult..and i couldnt take it and cried in front of my laptop, hugged the big puffy pillow..:'( i really feel sorry.. i didnt mean to be rude..i didnt mean to be ignorance..and i didnt want that to happen..i wanted to help but you still need to grow up though..you re much much older than me..i do not want u to be reliable on me,whom are younger than u a lot of years..

In conclusion, i'm sorry.. :(

TRUST

The trust i have in you is deteriorating.. No matter how close we can be..you'll never take me as ur close friend as ppl always tell u not to believe your friends.. i would not say you are wrong but you have to know which friend to trust ..i was so hurt when every time you tell me about that you are not going to trust your friend..And so, indirectly are u trying to tell me that you are not trusting me..? always wonder..
Since you are not trusting me..there is no reason for me to trust u because i know you would lie to me sometimes..for some ppl..i rather you tell me i'm keeping a secret for someone than u lying to me that you don't know anythg.. that's hurt..Nah..it's not the first time anyway..

hfpm~oh well.. :)

It's new! another me..

Semester 3 started..

First class...

Miss Sukhbeer entered. gave us our sem 2 final result..
WOW!!!! Have never expect straight A's would happen on me..

yeah..got straight a's..but according to secondary std it would be 5B's..

all 70 plus..quite satisfied..but not really happy.. i hv no idea why..

huhff.. single ain't easy..bored..

i Thought i hv many.. but when i check..I hv nothing but a few of them which are busy with their own life..

Got to be independent back..

i thought i was healed... no.. i did not..

the scar is still there..very sad..

i feel like crying evryday..or whn i feel like to..but i scared ppl will ask me..

" why are u crying ' ? i dun like answering tht question..

because there are too many reasons for me to cry...and i dun knw hw to answer tht question..too general...

On and Off i will gt to hear sum ppl say about what my dad said bout me..

evrythg he said bout me was all positive statement..

Why he did not tell me straight to my face..?

why do i hv to listen from others,,.,,,????

why??

i regretted i did not wake him up on tht night i visit him....>.< T.T

Song of the day~

"Every Breath You Take"

Every breath you take
Every move you make
Every bond you break
Every step you take
I'll be watching you

Every single day
Every word you say
Every game you play
Every night you stay
I'll be watching you

O can't you see
You belong to me
How my poor heart aches with every step you take

Every move you make
Every vow you break
Every smile you fake
Every claim you stake
I'll be watching you

Since you've gone I been lost without a trace
I dream at night I can only see your face
I look around but it's you I can't replace
I feel so cold and I long for your embrace
I keep crying baby, baby please

Every move you make
Every vow you break
Every smile you fake
Every claim you stake
I'll be watching you

当你

如果有一天
我回到从前
回到最原始的我
你是否会觉得我不错
如果有一天我离你遥远
不能再和你相约你
是否会发现
我已经说再见
当你的眼睛眯着笑
当你喝可乐当你找
我想对你好
你从来不知道
想你想你也能成为嗜好
当你说今天的烦恼
当你说夜深你睡不着
我想对你说却害怕都说错
还喜欢你知不知道
如果有一天梦想都实现
回忆都成了永远
你是否还会记得今天
如果有一天我们都发觉
原来什么都可以无论
是否还会停留在这里
也许可是让我想得太多
也许该回到
没我梦里和相遇
就毫不犹豫
大声的说我要说
当你的眼睛眯着笑
当你喝可乐当你找
我想对你好
你从来不知道
想你想你也能成为嗜好
啦～啦～
我想对你说却害怕都说错
还喜欢你知不知道
啦～啦～

Zomg!! Six Cd's for only RM36.90!!! Ahhhhh~~~~~~!!!

OOPs! out of topic..
what a colourful flower..
=)


wow....<3

Wah~!

WAH~~!!!

WOOSH~~~~!!! I'M LOVIN IT <3

Sunday which is 31/07/2010.. I managed to swipe my popular card for discount for the last day!!! XD

wanna know why am I so happy?? It is because that card expiry date is on that day!! It will be my last time to use it. I don wanna renew the card because I have my bro''s card with me XDDDDD

My new bought cds.. WEE~~!!!